Coincidence?
Since I cannot decide whether I ever want a 2nd child, or how soon or late there might ever be one, I have decided to socialize my son as much as I can, by arranging play-dates with his the mommies of the children he likes best from the nursery.
I’m making it a point that at least once a week, he can have someone over, go over someone’s house, or make plans with someone else for us to take them to an amusement park, etc.
One of the Mommies I have been doing with this recently is an American woman married to an Egyptian man. I really like the woman and I am one of the only people she finds she can relate to, so she is especially excited about this idea.
Her house is still incomplete and she says things are pretty much upside down. So every time we make plans, she wants to bring her kids over to our house. I don’t really mind since we have a garden and the kids can play outside.
I have come to a very disturbing conclusion about hanging out with this woman though.
Every time she comes over, after she leaves, my husband and I get into a huge fight and end up on the verge of divorce. This is very strange considering that my husband and I get along great.
Judge for yourself and tell me: Coincidence?
From the minute she comes over, it’s “Wow, you have that? Wow, you’ve traveled there?; Wow, your son has that toy?; Wow, you’re so thin.; Wow, you’re such a good Mom.” You get the picture…until it becomes kind of creepy and weird.
My husband later calls and I’m like, “Hi habibi. How’s your day? Talk to you later. Love you, Bye.” …
Then the kids play, we talk, they go home after a few hours.
After she leaves, I get a phone call from my husband… the conversation always takes some strange turn and *KABOOM*, we get into a huge fight. We hang up abruptly. We talk later, we fight some more. He comes home later, we get into an even bigger fight and suddenly we’re talking divorce.
This has happened a few times.
I’m not superstitious, but el 7asad mazkour fil Quran. So you tell me: 7asad or coincidence?
posted by Mumbo Jumbo @ 5:42 PM
16 Comments:
el 7asad mazkoor as harming el a7sood? sounds like an unlikely arrangment. if sins harm perpetrators, then it's the 7ased that will be harmed.
wow, it sounds at least very strange!
looks like that she is making you very comfortable and affecting your relationship with your hubby!
so, i think you need to make a choice here!
well either way i would try avoiding her, politely ofcourse.
Hi Mumbo Jumbo. It's The Usual Suspect here but I am having trouble publishing under that name so I've come in as anonymous.
7asad Mumbo Jumbo, definitely 7asad. That's easy enough to deal with, if you really enjoy this woman's company and want to continue to socialise with her, just wear something blue- I have plenty if you want. Everytime my mum goes to Egypt she comes back with all this jewellery for me because she thinks I am prone to 7asad!
However, I'd really think about why your arguments with hubby end in talking about divorce. I know that it's kind of part of the way we Egyptians argue, but my husband is not Egyptian, he is Australian, and it really disturbs him when I bring up divorce in an argument. He really opened my eyes to the fact that we should be able to have an argument/ discussion without using the D word. My first husband (Egyptian) used to say it all the time and eventually it came true.
I don't know that this woman is giving you the evil eye (I guess I think this is such a foreign concept to the average American). Have you tried taking the kids somewhere neutral? I don't believe in the evil eye, myself, but I do think people carry vibes with them. Consider it a signature for their soul.
Yes, coincidence... pluss the mood of anticipation after the first times fight and after the whole 7asad idea strifed your mind in the first place. But she sounds silly. I mean people easily impressed or surprised all the time really bore me and after a short while there's nothing to talk about. I don't know her and it's not my buisness, right? I'm shutting up.
I don't really believe in 7asad. Yes it's mentioned in the Quran but the Quran doesn't say that God deprives us of His blessings because another human being is jealous of us.
Rabi yi3idik dayman. Happy New Year.
I believe in hasad.
Not only because it's mentioned in the QUran, but also because some people do have this vibe, and those who know it sometimes abuse it. And i can list so many incidents i have witnesed personally.
I think in your case it's a bit of both, so just be cautious and meet some where neutral, and then see how things go.
She's American, right? I would take her compliments as just that. This concept of complimenting someone excessively, in hopes of cursing them w/ some bad luck...it just doesn't fit the cultural mold. I'd be surprised that she picked that up along the way. I'm still trying to hone my own 'evil eye' skills and failing miserably. :-)
You didn't mention what the arguments are about at all or who started them. Have you ever considered that maybe your husband wants to discourage you from spending too much time with this woman?
I do know the Suzanne Vega song. It's actually on my playlist right now. Haha. It's strange how that post reminded you of the song. And hey, instead of the American woman, we could get your kid with "ours". I'm sure that would be entertaining. Think about it and let me know.
Sukie, I would love to get together with you and your "kids"! :)
I'll email you!
sarah.khanna@gmail.com for e-mail purposes.
Wow, hehe. Well, I'm expecting a child, and your posts sometimes get me all creeped up. lol.
I don't quite much believe in all the islamic terms and so. And this seems confusing. So, i would be of no help at all. I've been pleading to find a friend. I'm lebanese and living in egypt has made it hell for me since i moved here, and it gets harder and harder. I never manage to keep a friend. we differ so damn much. So, i wouldn't really dare tell you to ditch that woman just because i feel lonely and wish someone would come over to my place all the time.
BUT, i suppose you could first look if there are any logical reasons for your fights or it's just out of nowhere for real and in the end, you surely know what'd best. I know i hate fights with my husband!
well am not sure bs mostly 7asad so try avoiding talking to her about you "great life" or start wearing b2a el7'araza elzar2a w el3ein tho i dont believe this stuff!u can try b2a soret elfalaq w law it didnt work thn huny ditch her!
Its a bit odd that the americian goes on about stuff you have and how thin you are...perhaps she is jeolous.
However I think one possibility of why you get into an arguement with your husband is because you miss living in america
Perhaps your americian friend is only temporarily staying in egypt and will return to the US; perhaps YOU are jeolous of her (you may not realize it) or perhaps you are uncertain with respect to where you will be in the future -- such uncertainty can cause you to feel unsettled and upset (and get emotional with your husband -- as he to some extent may be dictating where the family will reside in the future).
I believe your insecurities, doubts, future uncertainties, past hurts are the source of the friction between you and your husband -- the presense of your americian friend serves as a catalyst (reminder) that pushes you to argue with your husband due to past or present unresolved issues.
nuff said.
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